Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Summer is here

I am still unemployed, still writing this blog from my couch wrapped in blankets. Today i signed up for a Basic Skills Test, in hopes that i pass it and i get accepted into grad school for early childhood education. I will learn how to use capital letters before the test.
I also booked a 5 day all inclusive trip to Mexico during the swine flu! I can't wait. My husband and I are going for my 30th birthday. Who would have thought at 30 I would be looking into grad schools because i have been unemployed for 6 months. Which reminds me, i need to check into extended my unemployment.
So no i have 2 things to look forward to for the month of june. getting old in mexico, and passing a test (fingers crossed).
We have gotten to the point in my "days off" that i forget when the last time i showered was. I know... nice. It wasn't too many days ago, but i do forget. I have never had B.O. and my hair always looks clean, so i forget. I am def. showering today. having girls night at my house tonight... it's really one of the only things that keeps me sane. Besides my husband and doggie. So not much else is going on. I have officially decided that we are no moving on June 1st, but after a long process of deciding, i feel ok about it. It would be really hard to leave chicago right when the weather gets good. I am still trying to be optimistic about getting a job!!! (fingers crossed, knock on wood). I watched "The Secret" So i am trying to put positive thoughts into the air... i think i might have written about that last time.. it's pretty funny to really stop and think about your thoughts... most of them are negative. Gotta work on that.
Puppy is asleep on the couch and i need to sneak out and head to the gym, i am starting to think it's not ok if i wear a bikini. I always just wore one without a care... but one glance in the mirror made me think otherwise. We shall see. that's all for now. off for a bike ride to the gym. then to the dog park. story of my unemployed life. (think positive)....

Friday, May 1, 2009

The Secret

I have now been unemployed for 5 months. That is the longest i have ever been unemployed- I have worked everyday since i graduated college-- 9 years ago. You would think I would have been enjoying this time off- but not really. I got laid off in December in Chicago. Which is not fun for anyone. I have been at home on my couch, watching the days pass and the weather change. I have been driving myself crazy, thinking I have some sort of disease every other minute. I have way too much time on my hands I have done nothing interesting, or artistic, or helpful to anyone.
Thus, i started a blog, which i guess is still selfish, but it's better then watching Oprah. I wish i would have started it way back in December, but I was way too depressed to play. Now, 5 months later- i feel better about life but still a little out of it. At the moment I am watching my sweet dog licking something off of the bathroom floor--must remember that before i kiss her on the mouth..
That has been my life, my dog. Ahh the life of a dog... why can't she get a job? Which is not to say i have not been looking for a job, oh I have. I even tried to move states, but alas, couldn't make sense of it. So now, i continue to sit here- day by day waiting for Chicago summer to begin, in hopes I am not day drinking every day of it.
I am in a very specific industry and No ONE is hiring. So I am thinking of going to grad school- but of course I missed the deadline for fall- because i really thought i'd have a job by now. JEEZ! my dog just got my slipper again. But thank god for her, if she weren't around I would never leave the house. She's gotta get walked. I have also been going to the gym everyday- i mean everyday for the passed 5 months.. i have lost no weight. Being at home and depressed-- you eat. I have been eating- and buying shit i never bought before... ice cream, diet soda... really? But i crave it.. so I thought maybe I'm pregnant. Nope. Just took my first home preggo test. Negative. Everyone tells me, now would be a great time to get pregnant... I am home, my husband is working...-- yeah but- we need more money. I hope to have kids someday, but can't imagine ever being "Ready." So what do i do... i start a blog, last night i began to watch "The Secret" oh- those creepy dudes were really talking to me... so today i begin to imagine and visualize what i want... a job, to stop feeling dizzy, -- oh yeah i have been feeling dizzy... so thats why i thought i was preggo. I rode my bike today in the rain to my doctor, she could not see me. I am going back tomorrow. So i visualize, being healthy with a job.. I ask for it, i meditate, I accept it... the secret has not worked yet, but i am not giving up. Damn i just kissed my dog on the mouth. Short term memory.
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